The question:It seems the moment we got married a year ago, my husband promptly started gaining weight and adopting horrible habits. He has put on more than 100 pounds. I don't want to nag him, but the magnitude of his bad habits is making me contemplate divorce.
If he hasn't learned things like "garbage goes into the garbage can" or "aim for the bowl" by his age, is there any hope? Should I let him know our marriage may be in trouble? -- STILL A NEWLYWED IN UTAH
The Answer:
I have to answer this question with a question. A year ago? Have you not expressed your feelings for an entire year?
You must, and let me emphasize must, express your feelings to a spouse even when it is unpleasant or feels "naggy". You should definitely let him know your marriage may be in trouble.(how else will he know?) Tell him that his behavior makes you feel disrespected, upset, and concerned for his well being. A good man can fall into bad habits but a good man will strive to live a good life and not take advantage of his wife. If he is a good man he will be open to hearing your concerns.
If he has little or no regard for his own well being he may have other underlying issues that need to be resolved. If you two are having problems communicating feelings about cleanliness and diet, I imagine there are other areas of the marriage where feelings are not being expressed. It is important to be open and honest with a life partner. Nothing good can come from stifling your feelings. That is not to suggest you beat him over the head with your wishes, he is a grown man and will make his own decisions. You just have to decide if you can live with them. Marriage is hard work but it can only work if you BOTH work at it. So good luck. You have some heavy conversations to have with your husband.
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