the first one.

(I got this question from an advise column. It is a real question submitted by someone and it was answered by the columnist.I am just posting my particular take on it and giving the advise I would naturally give.)

"My mother got drunk at a family function and started a fight with me. I ended up leaving before it could escalate, but I feel I ruined the host's day. Would it be appropriate to send an "I'm sorry" note, and how would I word it?"

“I’m sorry my mother is a tool.” It is a shame some people’s parents act like children. It could be conceived by said host that you had some fault or that you could ruin the host’s day but such feelings are completely up to the particular host. It sounds like your mother is quite a crowd pleaser. Every family has that “one relative” whose always trying to “make it weird”, but apologizing for her bad behavior is simply not your responsibility and you would do well to swallow the bitter pill of excusing yourself from the burden of her inappropriate drunkenness. If you truly did nothing to provoke or initiate your mothers tirade, than you owe no apology. If, contrariwise, you find that you hold some guilt in the situation simply state you apologies for your OWN behavior and express your feelings of embarrassment toward your charming mother. If the situation really was awkward enough to cast a gloomy shadow over the family function then the host will be even more impressed with your obvious good manners despite your mothers rearing. Maybe next time you could ask your mother not to drink. Good luck, and remember the moral of the story….. Don’t get drunk at a family function it always ends badly.