I'm an athletic, youthful-looking 58, and my son, "Barry," is 24. We go out alone for dinner quite often because my husband (Barry's father) doesn't enjoy eating in restaurants. My problem is the angry stares my son and I get from younger -- and older -- women who mistake me for a "cougar" out on a date with my "cub."
The other night when I left our table to use the restroom, a woman approached Barry, told him he was "disgusting," and asked, "Why don't you date girls your own age?" He informed her that I was his mother, but even if I wasn't, it was none of her business. Another time, a girl Barry's age asked him why he was out with "an old hag" and said, "How can you want her over me?" This happens every time we go out.
I dress well and look like I could be in my 40s, but I have to wonder about the rudeness and ignorance of someone insulting my son without knowing the circumstances of the situation. Some of them refused to believe the truth even after Barry told them.
Interestingly, young men who have commented thought it was "awesome" that Barry could be out with a cougar. It's only the females who have a problem with us. Can you comment on this? -- HAPPILY MARRIED MOM IN OHIO
The answer:
I certainly can. Who cares what anyone else thinks. I think its great you have a good and healthy relationship with your son but what really matters, is what you are feeling. Women can be cruel, catty, back biting, condemning, jealous, hurtful, (and for lack of a better term) bitches. Males on the other hand, are usually happy to slap a high five to any guy who could be getting any from just about anyone. Its a fundamental difference that one should not attempt to understand rather just accept.
People should learn to keep their ill tempered assumptions to themselves. When they don't, I suggest you feel no compulsion to explain the situation. Just thank them for their ignorance and fodder for the rest of the evening's laughter or give your son a big smoocher on the cheek. Women who would be so rude are probably alone or unhappy in their relationships. I'll bet they would not behave so badly if they had dates. Break out your phone and take their picture for your own personal wall of fame. Your son is right... It's none of their business!!!
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