cant take a hint

The question:

I am 32 and a mom with two children. I've pretty much been single for two years. My problem is I found myself falling for my son's teacher. I never saw a ring on his finger, so last school year I made every attempt to visit my son's school as often as I could.

Eventually I took the chicken's way out and e-mailed this man and told him how I felt. He replied that he was flattered, we can remain friends, and he is my child's teacher. I e-mailed back saying I didn't know what I was doing and was not sure how uncomfortable things would be. He said it would be fine, no feelings hurt.

Once again he is teaching my child, and I still feel the same way. He is such a great man, so dedicated to the kids in his class. He is the man I want to get to know better. I have only seen him once this school year, but we often talk on the phone, though always about my son.

We get along so well and laugh like it is natural. Whether he is just being nice, I don't know. After this year he will no longer be my child's teacher. Is there any way for me to find out if he'd like to continue talking? I'm hoping for more. I've been hurt in the past, but with him it just feels so different, so right.

Answer:

A man who is interested in a woman will take her on a date. Especially if she has already put herself out there. The problem is you may have lost your chance with this guy by chickening out and sending him an e-mail telling him you were falling for him. If a guy did the same to you wouldn't you find it a bit creepy?

"Falling" for someone happens after a natural relationship builds on mutual feelings. You may feel your son's teacher is "the one" but it would be impossible to tell unless you two had a genuine relationship outside of school. He made his feelings (or lack of) known to you when he said he wanted to keep it friendly and related to your son and school. You should be able to decipher that this was a blow off.

It hurts to realize that someone we fancy does not return our affection but, it is good medicine to swallow even if it tastes like swill. Don't stalk this guy. Don't obsess about every thing he has ever said to you. Don't invent reasons to see or speak to him. The moral of the story is, chill out. If he has any feelings for you, he already knows where you stand. Any further pursuance and you will prove your desperation.